Marriage Minute - Bravehearts

I had lunch with a buddy this week, and he told me about one of the bravest things I’ve heard from any man. He has struggled with pornography in the recent past, and I check in with him to see how he’s doing. Over lunch he told me that he’s talked to his wife about his struggles and she holds him accountable. They’re not out of the woods, but they’re doing much better. I sat there thinking, "this guy is like a real life William Wallace."

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that we can’t expect Christian men to talk with their wives about sexual temptations. We have to get other guys to be our accountability partners.  I think that may serve a purpose in some cases, but I wonder if God laughs at our efforts in this area as he gently reminds us that we have a God-given accountability partner that we already made a lifelong promise to love and honor.


So it was an interesting lunch. My buddy went on to describe another challenge he is having in his workplace. He feels like his boss is micromanaging him, and he’s afraid to talk to his boss about it. I usually end our lunches by asking how I can pray for him, and his prayer request was for courage to talk to his boss about this management issue. I thought, “When it comes to his home life this guy is William Wallace; but in the area of his work, he openly admits being defeated by cowardice. How does that happen?”


It was then that I was reminded of Elijah. In 1 Kings 18, Elijah is making fun of Baal’s 400 prophets and calling down fire from heaven to consume his sacrifice in front of plenty of his peers and neighbors. William Wallace stuff. Actually, in Braveheart, William Wallace points out that he can’t do cool stuff like call down fire from heaven. Actually, he says he can’t shoot lightning bolts out of his backside, but the concept is the same. Then you turn to 1 Kings 19, and where is old Elijah? He’s off hiding in the desert asking God to kill him before Jezebel gets him. He’s not scared of King Ahab. It’s his wife that has him hiding in the desert.  Cowardice actually ends his ministry, and Elisha soon arrives on the scene.

I think this is why I find it easier to believe in the characters in the Bible than the ones on the silver screen. William Wallace’s heart is brave all the time. It doesn’t matter how many terrorists you put in the sky scraper. Bruce Willis is never afraid to die hard. But real people are a strange mix of brave and gripped by fear. Good Christians are a strange mix of brave and afraid. It’s no use trying to hide it or dress it up nicely. That’s the human heart. It doesn’t always trust in the Lord.

So here’s my question for this week, which is mainly for the guys: Where are you brave? Where do you need more courage? If you’re not sure of the answer, ask your wife. She’s your God-given blind spot checker. Wives, what can you do to affirm your husband’s courage? What can you do to encourage him in the areas where he lacks sufficient courage for the challenge of life? If you want to see what Elijah needed to overcome his fear, take a look at the 2nd half of 1 Kings 19. It might give you a few ideas to direct your prayers this week.

Take a courageous, bravehearted, dying hard first step and talk about this together this week.